Busy Mom

 This is the email I sent to KZOK for their Busy Mom contest...I won! but alas didn't claim my prize because it was too much of a hassle.....
Hi to all -
I just had to write in and tell you all how stinkin' busy I am!
I have two kids, preschool and 2nd grade. I volunteer in both classrooms and am the 'room mom' for one.
I do the bookkeeping for my husbands construction company.
I handle the property management for our three rental properties.
Between both kids I go to three swimming lessons, 1 baseball practice, 1 baseball game, 1 round of bowling, coordinate carpooling for an after school art class, 1 soccer practice and of course, playdates & doctor appts.
We have one dog, two cats, two turtles and three fish.
Now, this may not seem like much but let's just outline what today was like for me:
6am: Get up. Decide I'm too tired to go work out. Go back to sleep.
7am: Get prodded in the eyeball by preschooler who is demanding I turn on Dora the Explorer.
7:05am: My schizophrenic yellow lab, hearing my daughter screaming "backpack, backpack!" at the top of her lungs (in my bed, mind you), now wakes up and rubs cold nose all over my arm, begging me to let her outside.
7:10am: give in to the dog, trudge downstairs, let him out. Feed her breakfast. Back upstairs to wake up 2nd grade boy.
7:15: My inner drill sargeant comes out. Begin telling both children in what should be a terrifying voice that they'd better get up, get dressed, brush their teeth, go to the bathroom, brush their hair, find their shoes, don't forget socks! and come downstairs for breakfast.
7:20: Shower, get self ready.
7:50: Realize children haven't moved. Turn up the inner harpie and repeat everything from the 7:20 speech, only in what I'm sure is an "I mean business" tone. Go downstairs to make scrambled eggs, toast and freshly cut fruit for kids. Go back upstairs because children have decided to mame each other with toothbrushes instead of getting ready for school. Referee fight, begin to shrill. After 25 minutes both are dressed. We are now late for school.
8:30: Take a few minutes to put on my shoes and find cell phone. Smell chocolate and see evidence of it on both childrens faces while noticing dog has a hunk of toast hanging out of her mouth. All three seem to deny the obvious, despite the evidence. Realize can't send kids to school with nothing in their bodies except mnms so toss them each a cheese stick, notice what I'm sure is scrambled egg induced attitude from dog and announce it is time to leave.
8:40: Drop off preschooler. Arrange playdate for same day.
9:00: Drop off 2nd grader. Stay in the classroom to volunteer. Watch son flirt by attempting to talk with butt cheeks. Sigh.
11:00: Go to Costco, Trader Joes and the bank.
12:00: Pick up preschooler & her friend, both of whom are demanding jelly only sandwiches because they've decided to be allergic to peanut butter. Explain the impossibility of this but concede to jelly only. Come home to discover out of jelly. Offer quesadillas which is begrudgingly accepted.
12:45: After feeding both girls lunch and setting up a time consuming art project, begin to clean the house. Do this for at least an hour. Put Spike & Wanda, our turtles, in the bathtub to soak.
2:00: Scoop up after the dog, wondering if those scrambled eggs will make an appearance. Step in it. Try to wash it off but husband has booby-trapped the outdoor faucet so I can't hook up the hose.
2:20: Get call from tenant, asking me why the cable is scrambled on channels not subscribed to that tenants don't pay for. Try to explain the theory behind buying services vs. getting them for free. In a nice way.
2:30: Prepare invoices, reconcile credit card statements, balance check book and solicit new business for husbands construction company. Check email, call husband to remind him to call HIS OWN MOTHER and wish her a happy birthday. Contact local pool to schedule son's birthday party two months in advance. Send out evite.
3:00: Take playmate home. Go to grocery store for jam.
3:50: Pick up son who shows me little envelope containing tooth lost at school. Listen to childrens screaming contest on the ride home. Threaten to get rid of turtles if I hear any more screaming. Listen to them plead to keep turtles.
4:15: Homework time! ...enough said....
4:50: Prepare salmon, broccoli and potatoes for dinner. Listen to whining and watch as food sits, barely touched.
5:20: Take both kids to pool for oldest ones swim lesson. Sit in ridiculously hot pool area for what seems like hours, wrestling with preschooler who wants to stick toe in water. Watch son pick nose and swirl hands in pool water. Try to avoid glares from two lovely older women swimming nearby. Scowl at son, who nods head, clearly understanding my 'look'. Watch him do it again. Avoid eye contact with ladies. Vow to use nasal asprirator on child before next swim lesson.
6:00: While driving home, get gasoline and stop at post office to mail quarterly employee reports that I did yesterday to IRS.
6:30: Start laundry. Listen to kids complain about hunger. Point out lovely meal from previous hour. Daughter announces allergy to broccoli. Son, who has just finished swimming, is ravenous and eats both meals. Daughter debates with me the fine attributes of cheese sticks for dinner.
7:00: Husband comes home and is greeted with cheers by children. Watch him gloat.
7:10: Make husband dinner, clean up after kids. Feed fish.
7:30: Make the dreaded "get ready for bed" announcement...get booed.
7:35: Switch laundry over. Fold.
7:55: Force children upstairs. Supervise as they get ready for bed. Read books, do secret special love snuggle with both.
8:25: Recieve call from friend going through hard time. Laugh and cry with her for an hour.
9:25: Decide to take bath. Trudge upstairs with People magazine. Discover turtles in tub, looking waterlogged. Put them back in their aquarium, decide it's too late to clean out tub in order to take a bath and instead stand on floor vent in attempt to warm feet as heater comes on.
10:00: Watch The Office. Fall asleep at some point.
2:17am: Wake up in a panic, realizing I haven't stuck money under pillow. Trudge downstairs, find money in purse and save the tooth fairy's reputation. Back to sleep.