First, use opportunity to show off recently organized cupboard. Gaze at it for a few minutes, knowing before the weeks end it will look nothing like this...pat self on back for stocking up on gigantic vegetable soup and potato flakes in preparation for avian flu epidemic. Beam at clear containers holding various pastas. Start to freak out because you are a bit of an imbecile and need the idiot proof box the pastas came in to tell you how much 16 oz. are and how long you should cook it. Grab handful and hope for the best....
Start the sauce...amaze yourself with your ability to balance sesame oil on ridge of measuring cup.
Add your peanut butter and soy sauce...fail at attempts to make soy sauce balance like sesame oil did and end up splashing it all over yourself because you couldn't quit with one pony trick, you had to go for two.
Eye the head of garlic. Debate. Think about how much you despise those little garlic skins and how stinky your fingers are when done mincing garlic. Debate some more.
Put him back with his friends......
and go the super lazy, no garlic skin, no stinky finger route....
Time for lime......debate.................decide Mr. Lime would much prefer to be hacked up and take a swim in a Corona and again, go the lazy route.....
Chop up serrano pepper. Make a big point of telling kids to NEVER touch their eyes after screwing with a hot pepper cause it hurts like hell. Two seconds later, rub right eye. Try to finish dish with one good eye and one that feels as if it's been squirted with battery acid.
Toast up some sesame seeds, chop some cilantro, dump in your sauce and toss away! As you are tossing, realize you have WAY too much sauce for the amount of noodles you cooked, because again, you didn't have the idiot proof box to just dump in, you relied on your own noodle cooking know how. Roll your one good eye at yourself. Sample. Decide it's delicious and you don't want to share it, especially with your offspring who just ate the last ice cream bar that you had hidden behind the bag of frozen corn.
Hide in cream cheese tub and marvel at the camouflage. Be proud of red neck roots that make re-using old food containers as wanna- be Tupperware because they will NEVER look in here. Watch son approach, rip off lid and eat directly from container. Start mentally grasping at straws because you didn't make enough and you are really hungry..announce to peanut butter hating child in a sing-songy voice that there is a ton of peanut butter in noodle sauce. Feel defeated when he announces he can't even taste the peanut butter. Watch your small pile of noodles disappear.
Go swimming then hit Taco Bell. Vow to make sesame noodles again but decide clear pasta containers should really just be for looks and that you can admit you need the box.
once again, your trip through your kitchen was a hoot!
ReplyDeletenoodles sounds marvelous, but I'm still stuck on that blueberry slab pie???
hint: you need one of those "noodle measures thingy's" from the kitchen store! and cut a piece off the box that tells about "cook time" and put it in the snappy clear container (tape it to the inside of the lid?) as a "cheat sheet"... there you go... oh, and next time... wait till kids are asleep to indulge yourself... an age old MOM trick.
this is such fun ... love reading your adventures.........